We’re Too Much the Same

What you might find in a relationship that just seems unable to work. When you have two people who both had great passion and great fire in their youth, they come to midlife with the experience of failed love relationships. I liked it better when you were close. I can see your eyes in the pictures we took. You are happy to have my arms around you, if he says "I will never leave you," then I shall hold him at a distance and test him. He needed no testing. His eyes have looked into yours. His voice has been spoken as soft as a whisper leaving a lover lips. She tasted, and she delighted in the pleasures of his embrace. She was filled with joy as he held her in his arms…

Yet ego and pride was strong in both of them. They had handled each other close~ and’ very intimate in mind. How does one not want to be with their lover? Am I tarnished goods? Am I feared? How insulting to be reduced to acquaintance status when my true nature spoke. The nature you embraced. The natural feeling when I sat beside you. The way our conversations had so much intensity. My mind cannot comprehend the intensity I shared while together with you. It was a most joyous time and laughter, and freedom, and abandonment of worries was the menu for the day. To think you still want to stay connected- yet not let me near You? I challenge you to feel these emotions. Can you actually believe I’m not suffering?

She ponders all the wonderful lots of freedom and independence. She understands she knows what it means to love, to be giving, and to be kind. Yet she lets one man, or maybe quite a few men "destroyed" her ability to "trust" this man. She knows I’m not like other men. She knows I try hard, she knows how much I care, she cries even when she tells herself; she will no longer cry. I could take away her tears if she’d let me. I’m a gentle man. I have seen you cry. And now you shall try to no longer cry? You’ll convince yourself it’s all the other persons fault. The sad thing is, passions in pain cannot be this strong unless there was true love. For true love is always disappointed when two people cannot unite.

So I get onto the business of living with my life. I convince myself he was a sap. But I loved to call him a pud. And I will miss his affections, as I know he’ll miss mine. He cannot understand why. He will spend his time working in doing the things he dreamed of doing. He’ll hold hope in his heart for the day when she calls… he has done the best he possibly can to stay true to his word. He understands she’ll also probably be just as self-assured and quickly erase all bonds of affection. He’ll never understand why. He would wish she would find happiness with a good man. As he’ll surely do his best to find happiness in a good woman. This was one good woman who protected me from herself. Man is not given the right to question the mind of a woman.

Thomas A. SUTOR

P.O. Box 2343

Lompoc CA 93438

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