Time Never Heals
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Time Never Heals

 

Hold the words of time, they do not always heal. There are moments in my life when I feel at peace.  At those moments, no troubles, worries, or fears of the future can enter my mind.  How I wish I could carry those moments into every single future I must live.  For when the time comes that I do not feel secure, doubt so easily invades my peace of mind.  I cannot think.  I cannot focus. I cannot make it go away.  It is the feeling of hopelessness that my life can get no better, and I must endure the hours, minutes, and seconds when I can find no peace no matter how hard I pray.

    I can quote the words of wisdom.  I can quote my favorite Scripture.  I can say believe in God and that all my troubles are in his hands.  But deep in my soul I know I am a liar.  I hide behind a face that shows the world only a glimpse of how truly scared and frightened I am.  I could wish for death that I might no longer have to live this illusion.  Somewhere deep inside me, something was damaged.  No master Physician, Wizard, or Psychologist knows how to fix it.

    Whenever I must feel this, I try to reflect and give some deeper meaning to what coils and tears at the inside of my heart.  Then I find there are moments in my life when nothing takes away the pain.  I realize that God, the Devil, and all other forms of religion bring no comfort.  It is at these moments that my human mind can not grasp the meaning of life.  It is that these times that I understand Ecclesiastes and the profit, who says it is better for those who are never born, or dying just after birth, never have to suffer.

    Most to want to hear some happy ending.  They want the comfort of thinking the intelligent, knowledgeable, and faith-based person, can give them.  I myself at times in my earnest honesty must say life does not always reveal happiness, security, or love.  No matter how long one may live, time does not always heal.  It would be foolish for me to believe all my scars could be made whole when even I do not know where they are.  It is those scars that I cannot find that I must live with.  I find no comfort in knowing this.

 

Thomas A. SUTOR

P.O. Box 2343

Lompoc CA 93438

 

All written word is "The Opinion" of Thomas A. unless otherwise noted...

 

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