‘THE TRUTH IS…….
It’s time that someone spoke up concerning ‘child sexual abuse’, and that someone might as well be me!
First of all,
let me make the distinction between ‘abuse’, and ‘molestation’.
According to the dictionary:
Abuse
– is to use improperly or injuriously; misuse.
Molestation
– is to disturb or annoy by unwanted or excessive, or malicious interference.
I
was ‘molested’ as a child. I
was never ‘abused’ or harmed in any way,
I don’t remember being threatened or being made fearful of the act.
My perpetrator was an older cousin who was loved and respected by all of
the family. I liked him too because
he was nice to me. When he began
using me sexually, he was very kind and gentle.
At first, it was a little frightening, but he assured me it was all right
and that I would soon learn to enjoy it. I
was 4, he was 16. Over the next
couple of years, he used me on a regular basis. Occasionally, he would bring a close friend home with him and
“share” me with him. I
remember one time, he had three of his friends over while he was babysitting me
and they all took turns sodomizing me repeatedly.
My cousin made them be gentle with me, so I wasn’t physically harmed.
However, the emotional scars remain to this day.
Subsequently,
I became exclusively homosexual.
In
my 61 years, I have known and talked with hundreds of gay men.
In the majority of cases, they had all been either abused, or molested by
older male relatives or family friends, when they were children.
My best friend had been sexually molested by his father for several
years. Surprisingly, many had had
their first sexual experience with an older brother.
Not all men take the path of homosexuality, following childhood sexual
abuse/molestation by older males, to be sure.
However, in my experience, talking with some of these men revealed (in
their honesty) that they had occasional desires to have sex with a man.
I believe that a lot of homophobic men are such as those men.
Fearing that repressed homosexual desires might manifest, making them
QUEERS!
To
use a child sexually, no matter how ‘innocently’, by an adult is WRONG,
period! There is no harm in two
young boys of the same age exploring their ‘privates’ together.
It is a natural occurrence, which takes place between most boys, (and
girls). Enters
‘masturbation’…a safe and healthy means of releasing pent up sexual
frustrations. Punishing a young boy
for ‘discovering’ himself is shameful.
We are born with strong sexual desires, which when guided in the right
direction, can lead to a happy, healthy, adult life.
Don’t
HATE the homosexual because he is what he is.
Hate the one who molested him when he was so young, and unable to make
his own sexual identity decisions. Believe
me, very few gay men would choose the lifestyle, given a choice between being
gay or straight.
My
choices were taken away when my cousin first began molesting me.
He took away my childhood, my right to choose, leaving me with many years
of feeling worthless.
I
am now a recovering alcoholic, in a recovery program.
I share an apartment with a great guy who is 36 and straight.
I spent half a century living in an emotional 'gutter', wallowing in
alcohol and drugs. I was sexually active for most of those years, having had
hundreds of sex partners. Thankfully,
God saw fit to give me a second chance at a decent life.
I am no longer held captive by my sexual desires.
Oh, I still enjoy looking at a handsome man, but the need for sex has
pretty much faded. There is nothing
more disgusting then a pitiful old man still controlled by his sexual cravings.
The
truth is….I am gay.
Rex
D.
P.O.
Box 1013
Lompoc,
CA. 93438
