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There is no cure for Chronic Pain, but there is Pain
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She doesn’t want me to be sad… It is a feeling so fine and so blue that one must embrace it at some point. Many people are born to romantic notions about the misery in life, yet it is only the soul trapped in a body of pain` that sees right through all resentment. Desires to be free of the torment goes to no repore. Where has the guiled angel gone with his promise of salvation? How heavy my heart when pain is the essence of my daily nature.
I confide in youth that I never thought age was going to be hard. I was so destined to follow the bible and change the world! Expressing "my" chosen-ness as a right of passage! Too bad for those who suffer, to bad for those lost, yes too, too.., bad… I was righteous and gainful in my belief that god would never let harm come my way. I even admired Paul’s scriptures on suffering. His endless restless heart and activities he thought wrong. His agony over doing what he hate. I hate only pain, and how I wish pleasure.., or at least~ normal body sensation.
Too live in chronic pain one might think it maddening to feel suffrage all hours of the day. Your body engulfed in a tireless breaking… No rest while awake! If I did not sleep, there would be no break from the hauntingly demonic excursions into my physical phylum. A mind can endure for many day and years the suffrage of life. However, a body under complete control of a whacked nervous system has what type of chance?
It was not my intentions to become wounded. Some are born that way, some die that way. It is in this paradox called life that I render my heart with hearth. Flames can burn without fire. I know of the burning sensations that throb throughout my body. Isolated in certain places, I am sure it would be better to hack the body part to pieces than grovel for a life full of uncertainty.
Thomas A Sutor P O Box 2343 Lompoc CA 93436 Rockhawk.com |
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