All written word is "The Opinion" of Thomas A. unless otherwise noted...
Check out this crazy site!! passionbarn.com You would not believe what is on the internet
Other Links on this strange ancient beast BarnyardModels FarmFlics Filthy Farm
|
|
RELATIONSHIPS
It has been my learned experience that there are basically 2 types of relationships; 1. Two people who have a mutual attraction, and who possess similar characteristics. They are equal in status, equal in understanding one another’s needs, and able to see a given situation from the others perspective. 2. One is dominate and self-centered, the other is submissive and on the lower end of the ‘self-esteem’ spectrum. I fell into the 2nd type for much of my life. I was the proverbial ‘door-mat’ throughout most of my past relationships. I found it easier to submit and take the blame, (even if it wasn’t my fault) then to stand up for myself. I entered into one abusive relationship after another, and put up with the abuse because I would occasionally get ‘sex’ if I were ‘good’! No matter how abased and humiliating the circumstance, if there were sex at the end of the tunnel, I would readily submit to whatever was dealt. Ah yes, sex was the all-important catalyst that motivated me to be a non-entity…a ‘whipping-boy’, if you will. The world is full of those who love to dominate and control others. They are the ones who are never wrong—who always know the better way to do anything! Their opinions are the only ones that count, and yours are just so much drivel. Those individuals often find their selves alone and loveless. There aren’t as many submissive ‘door-mats’ today as there once were. It took me 62 years to find my backbone, and become my own person. If I could have been, even a little bit more self-assured, and a lot less of a wimp, I might not be alone and lonely today. You see, back then; sex was the gauge which measured my relationships. I would be whatever he wanted me to be, and act however he wanted me to act, as long as I was rewarded with sex in the end, (no pun intended). And, adding insult to injury, the sex often left much to be desired, which left me feeling depressed and frustrated. Today, I am a much more self-assured individual who possesses the ability to detect a potential ‘over bearer’ early on. I do not allow anyone to dominate me anymore and I am happy for it. If you are passed middle age, and are living alone and loveless, you had best take a look at who you are, and why you are in that circumstance. Failed relationships can’t be entirely the other person’s fault…. we have to take responsibility for at least a part of why the relationship failed. There are many of us who will spend our waning years without a ‘life-partner’, simply because we were never able to recognize the error of our own ways. So, my conclusion is: Don’t walk on others, and don’t let yourself be walked on. If you truly desire a relationship, find someone your own age who is mature and responsible. Be willing to give as well as receive. Respect the others privacy and individuality. Know when to speak…and know when to listen. Go slow. Remember that the same rules that apply to a lover-relationships, apply to friendships too. Be careful when you criticize…..helpful, well meant criticism, can easily turn into hurtful condescension, without even realizing it. Also remember; whether heterosexual or homosexual, your significant other is not an extension of you, but a unique and separate individual, who may or may not always agree with you. Be willing to bend, and also to know when to stand firm. "Do unto others……………………….". Rex D. 7/16/02
|
All written word is "The Opinion" of Thomas A. unless otherwise noted...
Check out this crazy site!! passionbarn.com You would not believe what is on the internet Other Links on this strange ancient beast BarnyardModels FarmFlics Filthy Farm
|