There is no cure for Chronic Pain, but there is Pain
Suppression if your State is not Florida or Georgia...
Click my Name. Thomas A Sutor for anyone who wants to join me on facebook!
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There is no cure for Chronic Pain, but there is Pain
Suppression if your State is not Florida or Georgia... Click my Name. Thomas A Sutor for anyone who wants to join me on facebook! |
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Once wet tear drops. She filled me with wisdom, and she found my clarity. When she was around, my heart would run and run. I felt the sharing of one life as man and wife was right. For there is now` “the reality of my aloneness.” She was not here to question this or that motive. Furthermore, I do not reside in delight; I do not fight for freedom, I slow my mind as I look through all the issue of today. A day I must still stand and make a living in. Therefore if others can go on, then so must I!
This is the mental mantel I strive for. Beholden to me, I am still not able to embrace this person or life I live. I want the freedoms of two against one. The fight we all seek: “to be with our one”. Had she been given any other body, she most likely would have lived many years married to me. WE might have made more deliberate attempts at planning for the future. AS it is, I struggle with the rest of this America in these economic times. . . There is not a day that I do not feel the sting of financial woes. Woes~ those were so much easier to bear while she was here.
If I have cried, it is at the insanity of death; how I have no say in how it will take the one I love. Even if I am body close, my energy could not keep her going, nor would I. Her condition had reached that place where you know death is better than living. Even she hated the fact that there was no other way to keep her with me. Forgive us for wanting to love forever. I am torn, and I am without direction or discernmanship. I make my body rise and decide what to say, and from this motive I must think.
Some days, I know she wished the best for me. Others.., I hate the empty nostalgia. I can not say hey honey! Remember this photo? It is then that my smile is filled with melancholy. Every trace, every whisper, and every demand silenced with out any alternative. This is the price I pay for love. It has to be one of the hardest things to do in life, and I am not ready to return to love for the sake of hope
Thomas A Sutor P O Box 2343 Lompoc CA 93438 Rockhawk.com |
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