“Lord Let Me Suffer”
Where else to start? Then with what I’m dealing with? I shall read a little passage from the Scripture starting at 12:7 “but to keep me from being puffed up with pride because of the many wonderful things I saw, I was given a painful physical ailment, which acts as Satan’s messenger to beat me and keep me from being proud.” And it continues on that Paul prayed over this matter three times. As a matter of fact, my lucky number is “3” and I do suffer from chronic pain and nerve damage. My situation has become so bad that I am unable to return to the workforce. I do not know how you would feel, but my first human instinct was that it was an insult.
Had I not worked hard all my life? Surely God would reward me for paying my taxes, being to work on time, going to work even when I was sick, and pulling extra shifts and staying late? How foolish I had been to think work was the means of my purpose. I had forgotten that Jesus Christ is the reason I have a salvation, not that I give the most money to the church. Trust me, even though I am on disability. I do still tithe. Yet, you soon find who your true friends are when you have any chronic illness. Some friend’s leave and then blame you for being sick. Others even think you are being punished for your sins. What amazes most of my “non-church going people” is that I do still go to church. They are amazed that I am not bitter and angry having to live with physical pain 24/7
If you’re going to be a Christian, you will be persecuted. Just because you believe in Jesus; it does not mean you’ll be healthy, rich, or have your own TV ministry. As a matter of course, I find it an insult to profane the house of God by letting the world so freely influence God’s home. I believe TV and media may enter into the house of God only on the most rarest occasions when the nation must mourn, and needs the comfort of the church as guidance.
Other than that, the church should be a sanctuary that a person can go to and “know” that no one is looking in on his or her private worship with God and God’s people. This of course brings me back to the weakness I have to deal with. I belong to God and he has full authority over my body. It is under his control and by his grace, I can endure whatever tragedy my Christian faith will see me through.
Thomas A. Sutor
P.O. Box 2343
Lompoc CA 93438
