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I
don’t care if it is A Fantasy
In a time, in my
life, when the world had shut down, he was needing a friend. I offered my hand and shook his; our eyes seared into each
other, and there was understanding. He
says: I sparked a mighty force he thought once slaughtered and dead.
He said his heart beat as that of a young man.
He says I’ll be there if you need me.
My condition was dire and I was alone, money was running short, and the
system failed me. I was not quite
sure what to think of this man when I asked him to move in.
My history having been filled with people lying to me, manipulating me,
and being abusive towards me. We
were sitting in a restaurant having pie and coffee.
I stared him again and said: would like to move in with me? His innocent
joy and devious happiness said yes! My condition worsened, I went in for major
surgery, and I had a very difficult recovery in the hospital.
He had driven down that day to bring my real father to talk.
I tried to reassure my father that everything is going to be okay even
though I was the one who had just awoken after 2 and half hours of surgery.
The surgery had been difficult because there was not enough blood in my
system. Furthermore, this would
cause my pain to be excruciatingly difficult.
I’ve had a bad night, and the next time he came by.
I was scared, I was angry, and I was in agony.
The staff had other priorities apparently, and I was fearful that tonight
would be worse than the last one. He
said he would stay, and he pulled out a chair and put his feet up on another
one. He sat there as my guard dog.
I can tell you that every time I needed something that my attendant did
not hesitate. Many months have passed, and we talked about our
life, our history, and their differences. It
was amazing! No matter how angry or frustrated either of us was with each other,
we never said derogatory things to one another, we never raised our voices and
yelled, and we never became violent. It
was one of those “fantasy relationships” where violence, cruelty, and unkind
motives never saw the day of life. I
asked him to pray with me, and he took my hands willingly.
I asked him to lead in prayer, and he did so.
I asked him to help me become a better person, and he encouraged me to
write. He honed in very quickly on
my artistic nature and though I was no longer able to play musical instruments,
he saw that the photography was another way for me to show my vision.
He inspires, and he forgives, and he loves me as a human being.
Everything I had ever look for in my real father, he had been so much more… I love my real father, but I never had a real
intimate relationship with him. He
was a distant man, and I learned to accept that as who he was.
This man is twice my age with gray hair, a beautiful smile, and a heart
of gold. He has learned to love me
as a son, and I do not doubt his sincerity.
He wishes for me to make something of myself and find the women of my
dreams. He then sends persons of
the opposite sex into close proximity of me that I might talk to them at a safe
distance. He knows I am a romantic,
he knows I have strong passions, and he might even know a little few things
about relationships. I know that in my heart I’m happy, and in my
soul~ I know that he’s one of the mates~ that God has allowed- - - me to share
spiritual knowledge with. My soul rejoices with someone who understands “my
need” to talk about God. To
debate how loving God actually is. To
be inspired and awed by the power of the Great Spirit.
Finding this connection with an older man, I can adopt him and call him
my own. My family begins to grow as
I add more adoptions~ to what God allows me to have.
My father in heaven has sent me a fallen Angel; I caught him as God had
cast him out. I showed God his
redeeming values, and I showed God his true nature. Father has now become reunited with his God and has become my
guardian angel. Those! all those
who seek to have a father? May you find one as nice as I have!!! Thomas
A. SUTOR P.O.
Box 2343 Lompoc
CA 93438 Rockhawk.com |
All written word is "The Opinion" of Thomas A. unless otherwise noted...
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