Last Updated August 30th, 2010 My B-day and Cremation of Wife...
Debbie Sutor is my wife. She Died August 28th, 2010. I will miss her very much.
Last Updated August 30th, 2010 My B-day and Cremation of Wife...Debbie Sutor is my wife. She Died August 28th, 2010. I will miss her very much. |
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Damaged Goods
Is that not how we feel after a seriously damaging ideal has been broken? Take for example our ideal for love. Once, when we were young, we gave and gave with the full intention of making happy years to come. Something happens that breaks the trust, and we lose our partner. How we scrounged through the muck of life trying to make right our mistake. Yet, sometimes our partner is more interested in revenge and control, so they take us back with conditions and sexual expectations. We never thought to hurt anyone sexually, but we were torn apart by another’s selfish and cruel ways. For if they really loved us, after our mistakes were forgiven; we would focus on enjoyment and hope. I once loved so greatly that I could see into the future. I saw a healthy and stable life filled with good friends and good times. My friends have been true to me and listened when I called in fear and frustration. What was love worth, it only hurt and caused pain. We saw our supposed life mate turn into a threatening and vengeful person. What they were all along, we finally found out. Yet we could not believe we had not seen it sooner, or that we spent so much time with a person who was not loving us, but using us as a self gratifying emotional bastard. Taking all our hopes and dreams and secrets and using them to tear us down. At some point the universe allows a door into a new reality, and we got away. Finding love today has been more cautious and careful. We do not let others see our true motives, for we are trying to figure out why there is an attraction. Yet we feel elated when they call, we dance and sing and embrace when they visit, and we do not take for granted what they mean to us. Sadly flashbacks from the abuse inflicted history cause us to keep our emotions` and thoughts away from being hurt. We do not realize that emotions are about connection and growing close, so we push away and wonder why they come around no more? Convincing ourselves life is better spent alone, we create a fantasy life devoid of soulful love. Soulful love can only grow when we care to understand what love is. Love is about trust; it bases it future on cooperation of two` too make it together as one. This teamwork is not done out of distrust or self preservation, it is done with the understanding that if you open your heart to love of another, you will feel acceptance. Money is not a good reason to love; security is not a good reason to love. You love someone because in your heart and in your instincts you can see their kindness. You see how they will sacrifice for you and stand up to you, but they will never use you or lie to you. Do not make it hard for the one you love; they are a scared and fearful as you once were. When they came back into your life it was out of motive to make good. Honor those intentions and return what you needed at one time. Help them to see you as you are now, as you would not want to keep them in the dark about your true intentions.
Thomas A Sutor P O Box 2343 Lompoc CA 93436 Rockhawk.com |
All written word is "The Opinion" of Thomas A. unless otherwise noted...
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