“Blown
Away”!
I’ll never forget the
first time I spoke to my mother about my homosexuality.
It was a bright , sunny, Sunday morning, ( I was about 23 at the time)
and we had just sat down at the kitchen table to share a cup of coffee together.
It seemed the ideal time to “come-out” to her.
My
father had been in a terrible automobile accident that had claimed the life of
his 7 year old nephew and left him in a coma.
A few weeks had elapsed since the accident and the consensus of the
medical team was that he was brain-dead and would remain in a coma until he died
from complications.
It
was apparent that my mom and I would have to pull together through this trying
time and it would be best if she knew of my sexual orientation up front.
As
we sat there across from each other, silently sipping our Farmers Brothers, I
opened the conversation with…”mom, you know that I have a lot of male
friends, right”? She replied,
“yes, I know you are quite popular”. “What
I mean to say is, that I “date” these guys.
We go out together as a couple”. Whereupon,
she sat her cup down, looked me straight in the eye and said, “what are you
trying to tell me…that you are a “COCK-SUCKER”?
Well, to say I was “plucked”, was a monumental understatement!
I think I stammered something like…”uh, well uh, yeah, I guess you
could put it that way. Although I
wasn’t expecting you to be quite that GRAPHIC” mother!
She
went on to say that she had suspected for some time that I was gay, but held out
hope she was wrong. I am an only
child, and her fondest dream was to have grandchildren one day.
My being gay, pretty much shot that down.
One of my deep regrets is that I was never able to fulfill that dream for
her. I hope she found it in her
heart to forgive me before she died. I
think so.
Rex
D.
