Am I holding you back?

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What would I do to help you face life? I would tell you to be your own person, but remember your friends. I would say experiment, but remain faithful. I would say be honest, and do not hide the truth from the one you love. Show them that part of you that is at its best! A warm concern for their well being intertwined with memories of intimacy. This is why we share our emotions with another, this is why our feelings engage wonderful sensations in moments of awakenings, and this is a privilege~ more so` than any person can understand. Too have the company of some one you trust, adore, and accept’ with all their flaws and skewed thinking.

The day we met was a foundation unknown to either of us before, we could not plan for the many years we have laughed and cried and loved. You were my everything, and I cried the day they told me the news. We have walked hand in hand, we have shared moments of deep pleasure, and we are quite a couple. You have made this life of mine so much more than I ever thought it could be. Did an Angle put you in my life to help, or did you come to help me? I can think of many nice nights in conversation, as we held eachother in rapturous words! We would argue and we would fight, we would debate, and we would not understand. Thick muck covered our hearts and minds, and we were not happy…

Still, we always pulled through. You said friend and I said prove it, I was insolent and hateful as I tried to “ply” your life into my little box. You took the box away from me, and I opened up to you with tears. Tears of pain, Tears of Shame, Tears of just please hold me now. And you did. It was not ever a nervous action; you pulled me close to you as I wept on your chest. Seeking to be forgiven and seeking acceptance, you showed you were willing to commit: too this kinship. A powerful force when two accept and see the other, it is nice to find a soul reflecting behind the shell of human kindness. A kindness I thought I did not need.

After all the years and all the memories, I am still jealous that you got out first. Your so called love was supposed to be perfect! Who am I to question the one I love, we never controlled life` right? We met in life under the fiery imagination of youth and promise. How life does teach us many lessons, but they mean nothing without someone to share those lessons with... You filled my days with happy memories, and I am old now. I have my friends, and will miss our conversations. You will never really know how much you meant to me, but somehow I think you do. Gran-Pa.., you taught me the lesson of love.

Thomas A Sutor

P O Box 2343

Lompoc CA 93436

Rockhawk.com

All written word is "The Opinion" of Thomas A. unless otherwise noted...

1937 American Life