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“Abuse
the Terror within” What can I say? There was a time when I was free. Innocents shown on my face as beautiful and sweet as a puppy. To those around me I was new, refreshing, and dominated. These people who come to me and touch me. I am ooh so very young, oh so young, and they’re so much older than me. He has power, strength, and control. I do not understand my world yet, but something inside me tells me this is wrong. My flesh is my flesh. My flesh now belongs to another. As I hear the creek in the door, I know it is time that once again I will endure what happened so long ago. It was not my choice, for I was not of the age to choose. My mind was still developing, my hands were still growing, and my imagination was still part of my reality. And this monster grabs hold of my flesh. He touches my flesh in places, places that move me. And this is where when I grow up, and I am an adult; I cannot ever understand why or how an adult could harm a child? I choose to respect all children. I am leery of people my own age, how many of those I associate with. Which ones are the monsters now walking amongst me? Dare I ever have a child? Allow what has been done to me to hobble onto my child? It is a fleeting abuse. . . “Thought” As I sleep, I hope I do not hear the sound of feet walking tonight. Maybe tonight I will be safe, free, and a child innocent once again. Then the door would creek, ooh why? What does he want with me? And then.., I slowly resist. It is a silent resistance' that only fights back in my head. For I would dare not raise my voice, and have someone come catch us; it is always us. . . My silence
screams turn to whimpers of.., oh...!..! What is this feeling?
In a way I hate it, and in another it arouses me.?, And that is where the
battle in the scars of the childwar` carries on into my eldest age.
Then I feel it inside of me. It
is so big; it hurts so badly at first. Now,
it is tolerated as my imagination tries to grow up.
It happened so long ago, but still in so many ways it seems as if it happened yesterday... Thomas A. Sutor P.O. Box 2343 Lompoc CA 93438 |
All written word is "The Opinion" of Thomas A. unless otherwise noted...
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